BRADFORD, PA- Reports are coming in that resident Carl Strugler, a local neo-Nazi, feels his way of life has been under attack from what he describes as a “Zionist Liberal Jew media conspiracy.” Strugler, 43, has lived his entire life in Bradford, which as of the 2015 census, has a 97.4% white population. “I don’t know what it is, but this place just seems wholesome and quaint,” said Strugler about his hometown, which currently has a 14% unemployment rate. “People seem to have their priorities in line around here.” Lately though there has been trouble in paradise, as Strugler feels  he has been disrespected by the way the “Jew [sic]” media portrays people like him of Nazi heritage. “It wasn’t my fault I was born white,” he remarks while using a Hitler Youth knife to pick his teeth. “Or that I wielded my whiteness as a symbol of superiority and victimization.” It’s not just him either. Every week, Carl dresses up and meets with a similarly minded group of friends and together they share personal stories, discuss politics, and contemplate the expulsion of all non-Whites from the United States. “It’s a real relief to have a place where we whites can feel welcome,” comments Tyler Hocksen from the inside of a WW2 gas mask. “We’re simple people, with simple, regressive views.” As they go around the room, they each discuss the feelings of fear they’ve had in the recent political climate. “It’s like ever since Trump got elected, it feels like I’ve had a target on the back of my head,” confesses Hocksen. Indeed, there might be one there, hiding behind the flame engulfed swastika tattoo. But Hocksen, Strugler, and their clan hope that one day they’ll be treated fairly, and equally. “All we want is for everyone to be treated the same,” he muses as he dumps gasoline on a cross, later adding “Because we’ll all be the same.”